


The Waters of Nile

by lovestillaround



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Comfort, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, interactive introverts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-29 03:28:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14464002
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovestillaround/pseuds/lovestillaround
Summary: the tour starts but along with it comes the feeling of regret for all the places they’ll never visit





	The Waters of Nile

  
The tour starts soon, but Dan doesn’t think about the future. No, he thinks about his childhood.

He remembers one vacation that he spent in the countryside. He was maybe nine years old and he was excited to see this different place, to look at the farm animals and to bath in the lake.

He remembers that one day he dug a small groove in the ground, with his bare hands. He was in the backyard and he was quite bored. An idea came up to his mind and he went to the house, grabbed a glass and filled it with tap water. Then he went outside again and spilled the liquid into the ditch and watched it flow creating dirty trails. There was no grass around and no other plants, so Dan imagined that it was the Nile.

He had once watched a documentary about Africa. It had been almost a life-changing experience for him because at that exact moment he found out that geography was interesting. There was something fascinating in the fact that the world was so diverse and Dan wanted to explore it.

He gathered a couple of grey pebbles and put some of them into the water, some of them on both sides of the trail. These were the elephants. They were drinking water and playing in it. The bigger stones were the parents and the small ones were the children, and they were all living a happy life there.

He got bored with playing after a while. It was hot outside, so he decided to go back to the house and stay there, maybe also ask for some lemonade.

On the next day, he went outside too but the water wasn’t there anymore. It evaporated, leaving the ditch empty, excluding a couple of those grey stones he’d put there before.

The elephants were still there but the Nile dried out.

 

 

“Are you excited?” Phil asks the night before the first show. They’re lying in a hotel bed and strong emotions are not letting them fall asleep, even though it’s quite late.

“Of course I am.”

Dan can see it all on Phil’s face – the pure happiness of doing something that they didn’t think they would ever do again, the anticipation of the things yet to come. He would like to share this joy with him, but for some reason he can’t, at least not fully.

“I think I’m having an existential crisis,” he whispers, as if the quiet tone of voice meant all those things tangled in his mind were less true.

“Can I help?” Phil moves closer and Dan feels the warmth radiating from his body and then the softness of his skin. He can’t help but think about Africa again, about the deserts and heat, about the blazing sun.

“It’s a bit sad that there are so many places we won’t go to. And I know it’s not physically possible for us to visit every country, but it’s still making me sad.”

“That’s a valid feeling.” Phil lays his arm on Dan’s chest and places his head somewhere near Dan’s collarbone. It’s good to feel the weight of Phil’s upper body resting on top of his own, it’s good to be so close. The calmness coming from the intimacy is like a rescue right now. They are here, both, and they are going to face it all tomorrow being still side by side. Not that the start of the tour is something that terrifies Dan. It is scary, but only a bit, and they can always find support in each other anyway.

It’s not the fear of interacting with people, of being exposed. Dan is not much scared of the things that could go wrong either. But the thought of doing a world tour is overwhelming, it’s unimaginable, and even though he had a lot of time to get used to it, his brain is having a hard time to proceed that this is something that’s happening right now.

“I know that I’ll be sad when it ends,” he says, stroking Phil’s hair mindlessly. “I will get so emotional and definitely cry because it’s our last tour and it will never happen again.”

“I know. We can cry together, don’t worry.”

“I feel a bit like crying already.”

Phil lifts his head to look at him. His eyes are gentle, like always, and full of this everlasting light that Dan will never understand. “But look, we’ll make these memories together. Sweet mems. It will stay with us forever.”

“Not forever, only until we die.”

Phil makes a face of disappointment. “Dan, I love you, but can we have one conversation without mentioning death?”

“Too late, hun.”

Dan is smiling. It’s not the saddest he’s been in his entire life, so he’s going to smile. The tour starts tomorrow and it’s an adventure that he wants and that he’s ready for, but he still feels like he needs some reassurance.

“We’re giving the people what they want. It isn’t only about us. We have a chance to do something amazing with our audience and we’ll do it. Isn’t it a fantastic thing?”

“It is. But what about all those people who will never get a chance to see us because they have not enough money or because we won’t come to their country?”

“We can still reach them with our videos. We can still make sure that they feel appreciated.”

Dan doesn’t answer. It is true. It is reasonable. Somehow, it still doesn’t feel enough.

“Should I kiss you as a distraction?” Phil moves up and soon the only thing Dan can focus on are his eyes. His eyes that are blue like calm waters, green like some seaweed and yellow like the reflection of the sun.

“That might be a good tactic,” he says as Phil already leans in for a kiss. It’s a sweet kiss and maybe it’s giving Dan the warmth he needs right now. But then Phil climbs on him and Dan thinks that it might be a bit too much, especially when this warmth starts to gather between his legs.

“We should be sleeping right now,” he mumbles but for some reason still wraps his arms around Phil’s back to pull him closer.

“Sex is good for sleep.”

“Sure,” he manages to say before their lips meet again.

He can forget about all his worries for now because there are things that will never change. He’s going to leave his home for five months but also the home is still going to be with him the entire time. Phil is his true home and there is nothing else he would need, there’s nothing else he should ever ask for. Everything is fine as long as they’re together.

“It’s gonna be great, Dan,” Phil says with his lips somewhere near Dan’s neck. The warm air makes Dan shiver when it hits his skin.

“The tour or the sex we’re about to have?”

Phil moves on to place the kisses on his jawline. “I meant the tour. But you’re not wrong with the second option.”

“Good. I need you so much right now.”

Dan doesn’t really know where to put his hands. After all these years, he still doesn’t know that. He wants to touch Phil everywhere at the same time.

But Phil Lester wouldn’t be himself without saying something to annoy him.

“And I need your man door.”

Dan growls and places a hand on his shoulder to push him off. Phil doesn’t pull away, he only laughs, and buries his face in the crook of Dan’s neck.

“You’ve just ruined everything for me. The entire five months of touring? Ruined. I’m so disappointed with you, Phil Lester. I want a divorce. I want you to…”

He’s about to say that he wants Phil to murder him on stage but he doesn’t get a chance. Phil lifts a bit and kisses him again.

Dan can’t argue with that.  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [say hi to me](https://lovestillaround.tumblr.com/)


End file.
